remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
