so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
