Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
