do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
