So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
