I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
