dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
