so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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