Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
