Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
