U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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