I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
