you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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