that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
