so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
no you cant smoke seaweed
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
