A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize