your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
