I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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