she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
