My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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