Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
