I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im drinking this country out of the recession.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
