So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
