and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
