My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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