wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Randomize
