For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
