there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
