you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
