Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
