If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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