Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
