Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Don't tell me you're on acid again
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
