Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
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I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
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you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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