remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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