dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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