What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
