If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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