Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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