69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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