Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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