is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
