I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
