After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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