How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
