I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
