Just cropdusted the office
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
