I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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