she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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