Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
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just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
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I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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