so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
