I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
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I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
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It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I did not marry a roomba.
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