Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
