We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
