I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
