At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
