RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
