she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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