where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
