found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
