idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
