the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
