You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
