what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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