I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
