Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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