awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
