We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
