He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize