Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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