my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize